On March 27, an anonymous female journalism student at Ohio State University wrote a column in The Lantern, a student newspaper on the campus, titled “Going Down with the Catholics.” She mentions that one of her friends, Megan, is a Catholic who hasn’t had vaginal sex with her boyfriend John. But “he won’t break up with Megan because he said it’s the best head he’s ever had in his life.”
Penelope, the anonymous writer, wonders, “Catholics can’t do a lot of things: eat meat on Friday, listen to Marilyn Manson or vote Democrat, so pre-marital sex is just another item on the list. But when did God say it’s OK to give a blow job so long as that’s as far as you go?” She adds that “oral sex doesn’t get women pregnant, only penetration does. (Unless you’re Catholic, then Immaculate Conception does, too.)” She ends by saying, “Maybe God is looking down on the world smiling as He’s getting oral pleasure guilt free, no strings attached.”
Here’s how Catholic League president Bill Donohue responded:
“Though The Lantern does not receive any money from the university, it is afforded a place on the campus, and is therefore subsidized by the taxpayers of Ohio. We are contacting Dr. Karen Holbrook, president of Ohio State, asking her to treat this incident the way she addressed a comical, yet racist, matter last year. About a year ago, several students at a branch campus sent racist letters to some blacks on the Wooster campus. ‘If they were intended to be funny,’ said President Holbrook, ‘there was nothing funny about them.’ In another racist incident last year, the offending students were accused of violating the Student Code of Conduct, and were subject to dismissal.
“It is important to note that The Lantern is guilty of rank hypocrisy. Two months ago it chided another school newspaper, The Daily Princetonian, for publishing a satirical piece on Asians in its annual joke issue. Looks like when it comes to Catholics, the same rule doesn’t apply.”
Contact the president at firstname.lastname@example.org