Matthew Murray, the gunman who stormed a Christian youth mission center and then a nearby church this on December 9, held a deep hatred for Christianity, according to theAssociated Press and CNN affiliate KUSA. Murray, who took the lives of four people before dying himself during a shootout with a security guard, targeted his victims because of their religion.

A look back at an internet-message board he frequented, aimed at those who have left evangelical churches, reveals that on the morning of his killing spree he raged “You Christians brought this on yourselves.” He also wrote, “All I want to do is kill and injure as many of you…as I can especially Christians who are to blame for most of the problems in the world.”

In the past, other posters to the website Murray frequented had recommended he seek professional counseling. One poem he posted, “Crying all alone in pain in the nightmare of Christianity,” spurred a psychologist to offer such services, but Murray dismissed the idea.

Murray was once associated with the youth center that he shot up, having been rejected from a mission trip to Bosnia. According to the center’s director, the young man was not able to go on the trip for health reasons. Additionally, he had performed a song by Marilyn Manson (a self-described Satanist) at a mission concert.

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