Send in the straightjackets—Newsweek has cracked up. Of all the stories in the entire world to cover, Newsweek’s website flagged as its “Top Story” on September 13 an insane piece about a woman (complete with photo) who thinks she is an ordained Catholic priest. They found this “woman priest” in Missouri, though had Newsweek reporter Karen Springen walked into the nearest asylum, she would have found some people who think they’re the pope.

Springen’s discovery was Jessica Rowley. Jessica thinks she’s a Catholic priest because some crackpot group said they ordained her. Springen, whose contempt for the Catholic Church is rivaled only by her ignorance of it, not only made snide comments about the Church’s rules governing ordination, she implied that the Catholic Church thinks “it’s a sin to be gay” and excludes divorced people. Springen’s delusional discovery, of course, is pro-abortion and pro-homosexuality—just the kind of person who would make a great addition to Newsweek.

There are so many denominations that would welcome Jessica, but the fact that she has rejected all of them indicates how little regard she has for them. This says volumes about the prestige these trendy religious communities have, even among alienated dissidents. So Jessica would rather play make-believe, pretending she’s a Catholic priest. By Halloween, she’ll no doubt become a bishop.

If “I think, therefore I am” was good enough for Descartes, Newsweek reasoned, then “I think I’m a Catholic priest, therefore I am” was good enough for Jessica. And for Newsweek as well.

The next time someone tells us that we shouldn’t worry about Kathy Griffin and all the other anti-Catholic bigots—”we have a war going on,” they thunder!—we’ll be sure to tell them what passes as the “Top Story” at Newsweek.

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