Catholic League president Bill Donohue comments on the new movie, “Hail Satan?”:

I hope someone takes pictures of those waiting in line to see “Hail Satan?” I am sure it would be worth the effort.

Most Christians and Jews, of course, will be engaged in Passover and Easter events this weekend, having no time for nonsense. But those who hate religion will have plenty of time, and they are sure to be accessing their horns and brooms for this Satanic gala.

It is not an accident that this documentary opens during Holy Week. The Christian haters have a long history of living parasitically off of Christianity.

For example, American Atheists always holds its annual convention over the Easter weekend. This year they are in Cincinnati, hoping to draw double digits. It won’t be easy given that their past president, David Silverman, who was an entertaining guy, albeit a dunce, is no longer with them: he was fired for having some big problems with money and women.

A number of years ago, Christopher Hitchens, the angry atheist, refused to debate me on MSNBC on the Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday of Holy Week. In fairness, he hadn’t done very well debating me on many previous occasions, so it was a smart move. But he did agree to debate me on Good Friday at 3:00 p.m. Such a brave man.

Hollywood liberal movie reviewers have finally found a religious movie they like—”Hail Satan?” works for them. But is this really a film about a religion? It is based on The Satanic Temple, a ragtag bunch of weird-looking people. The august New York Times says that “it’s probably not even a religion.” Hollywood News disagrees, noting it is “hardly your average religion.”

The director of the movie is Penny Lane (no relation to Lois). “I’m a lifelong atheist,” she said in a recent interview. “Somehow, I never realized that that is so weird.” Ironically, being an atheist is less weird now than ever before in American history, so the timing of Penny’s epiphany is bizarre.

The Detroit founder of The Satanic Temple is Jex Blackmore. She is featured in the movie dragging a cross through the streets of Detroit wearing a crown of thorns. Unfortunately for Jex, she is no longer with the Satanic outfit. She had to be let go for calling for the death of all presidents (at least Trump wasn’t singled out).

Why do the critics love this flick? Satan, we learn, is not a bad guy. In fact, Variety calls him a “freethinker.” That settles the issue.

The consensus of movie critics, as noted by Rotten Tomatoes, is that the film “challenges preconceived notions of its subject with a smart, witty, and overall entertaining dispatch from the front lines of the fight for social justice.” Maybe they will join Bernie Sanders’ campaign. Buttigieg might be a better choice. Hope they decide shortly.

How do these happy Satanists demonstrate their dedication to social justice?

The New York Times observes that they have adopted “a stretch of highway in Arizona and picked up litter with pitchforks.” Excellent choice of utensils. But is that all there is? No, they have “collected socks for the needy.” Not a word about shoes.

The British Guardian is much more observant, noting that the happy Satanists also collect “menstrual products to distribute to local shelters.” Not a word about what the guys get, nor, for that matter, what the trans people get (the latter is surely an oversight).

What the movie reviewers don’t tell the reader is that these Satanists hate Catholics. Penny Lane, for instance, says there never was anything evil about Satanists, attributing the “myth” to Catholics. They also deny the existence of a Black Mass, contrary to overwhelming evidence.

Huffington Post says The Satanic Temple stands for “compassion, liberty and justice for all.” That is a lie. They have absolutely no compassion for the rights of unborn babies.

In January, I had an exchange with one of the wizards from this group, asking him why abortion is such a big issue for them. “It isn’t abortion per se,” I was told. “It’s personal freedom.” Here’s what happened next.

“But if the personal freedom of a woman to have an abortion results in the wholesale denial of personal freedom for her baby,” I asked, “how is that a victory for liberty?” His reply: “Because it isn’t a baby.” He didn’t say if it was a turtle.

The New York Times got cute by saying the movie is rated “R” for “compassion, empathy, scientific understanding.” The Los Angeles Times was more honest, saying the “R” was for “graphic nudity, and some language.”

One final thought. These same movie critics who are enamored of a film about Satanists refused to review “Unplanned,” the movie about Abby Johnson and her sickening experiences working for Planned Parenthood. It all circles back to abortion: the Satanists love what practicing Christians abhor.

No matter, “Unplanned,” despite the media blackout, did stupendously at the box office. It remains to be seen if the receipts for “Hail Satan?” will cover the theaters’ electric bill.

I hope someone sends me a picture of the theater-goers.

Contact Magnolia Pictures’ PR office:

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