In December, we learned that Central Michigan University’s affirmative action office publishes a calendar, available online, that denotes various holidays. In December 2003, it listed Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa and Las Posadas. But there was an asterisk next to Christmas: it read, “Warning of Holiday Decorations.”

By clicking on the “Warning,” it was possible to access a document titled, “How to Celebrate Christmas Without Offense.” Before going any further, it should be noted that there was no asterisk next to the other three holidays. The absence of any “Warning,” we reasoned, suggests that those who celebrate Christmas have found it difficult to do so without offending others. The implication is that Jews and African Americans, as well as Mexican Christians, have been able to celebrate their respective holidays without offending anyone.

In a news release, we commented what a gem the “Warning” document was. It said, “During the December Holiday season it is important to realize what may be offensive to others within a place of employment.” We pointed out to the media that those who celebrate the other holidays were spared the lecture about offending others. “The implication being,” we opined, “that celebrating Christmas enrages non-Christians.” We thought it fair to conclude that “if true, [it] suggests that Jews and Muslims are religious bigots.” This is quite a statement coming from an affirmative action office.

The document proceeded to instruct Christians on what is permissible: “It is inappropriate to decorate things with Santa Claus or reindeer or other ‘Christmas’ decorations.” This made us wonder, “So if the Multicultural Gestapo remove Santa, what do they do if they stumble on a nativity scene—smash it with their clubs?” In any event, the document went on to say, “Good ideas for decorations during this time are snowflakes, snowpeople, poinsettias to give a feeling of the winter.”

This provoked us to say, “Though this was obviously written by an illiterate—or by a dean—it’s a solid point. Any school that would allow a snowman is clearly sexist, to say nothing of dissing ‘a feeling of the winter.'”

No sooner had we issued our news release when the Fox News Channel was calling Central Michigan University for an explanation. In no time at all, the calendar was amended. Gone were the invidious “Warnings” to Christians.

We believe the school’s spokesman, Rick Morrison, who said that the top officials at the university were unaware of the invidious “Warning” document. But this is what happens when affirmative action personnel turn their office into their own fiefdom.

William Donohue accused those responsible of participating in thought control. “The cultural fascists in the U.S.,” he noted, “are more likely to be found in the salons than in saloons; more likely to be intoxicated with ideology than booze.” Donohue ended his remarks saying, “Given a choice between dealing with old-fashioned rednecks and the Multicultural Gestapo, I’ll take the former any day—at least they’re capable of sobering up once and a while.”

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