On May 26, Cinemax TV aired a movie starring Woody Allen, “Picking Up the Pieces,” that thrashes Catholicism from beginning to end.  The plot revolves around a butcher (Allen) who slices up his wife and buries her in the desert.  One of the hands is found (giving the finger) by a blind woman who brings it to a priest.  The woman, now cured of her blindness, insists that the hand belongs to the Virgin Mary.  The priest, who is having sex with a prostitute, advertises the hand to the faithful as a cure for all types of maladies; one of the “miracles” results in enlarged breasts for a woman and an enlarged penis for a dwarf.

The Catholic League response to the media was as follows:

“When Woody Allen said, ‘I’m Jewish, but I’m not religious in any significant way; I don’t have any respect for any of the major religions,’ he was only partly telling the truth.   He would have been more honest if he had said that he has particular disrespect for Catholicism, for that is what this movie demonstrates beyond a reasonable doubt

“Our Blessed Mother is ridiculed; references to bishops as pedophiles are inferred; priests are money-grubbing hypocrites; comments like ‘I’m not saying Jesus was a pimp, but he had a ’ho—Mary Magdalene’ are made; Mother Teresa is said to have had ‘sex slaves’; a priest has sex in the confessional; the Church is compared to a whore; miracles are treated with disdain, etc.  It does not surprise, then, to learn that the producer, Alfonso Arau, has made despicable comments about his former religion.

“We will ask our members to cancel their subscription to Cinemax and to write to Woody Allen asking him to explain the source of his bigotry.  The only saving grace is that the film is such a bomb that it is not likely to make it to the big screen.   One more thought: that Woody Allen doesn’t mind being associated with a straight-to-cable movie suggests that he’s slipped.   Unless he gets his act together, the Spice channel might be the only outlet left for him.”

Members can write to Woody Allen c/o William Morris Agency, 151 El Camino Drive, Beverly Hills, CA 90212.

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