Listed below are excerpts from the report sent to Time Warner,“Bill Maher’s History of Anti-Catholicism, 1998-2013.”
• October 8, 1998, “Politically Incorrect with Bill Maher” [ABC], on the Catholic Church: “But Catholics nowadays are like, you know, ‘The pope says we shouldn’t do this and this, but we really wanna pick and choose the parts of the religion that we feel fits us. You know the pope says you shouldn’t masturbate or have abortions, but that’s fine for him, he’s an elderly man, but for us…’”
• February 4, 1999, “Politically Incorrect with Bill Maher” [ABC], on the pope and abortion: “The pope had his dress up about the abortion issue.”
• August 9, 2000, “Politically Incorrect with Bill Maher” [ABC], on sex abuse: “Look, it’s a fact of life. Priests, a lot of times, molest boys, okay? They are celibate and it’s a magnet for homosexual pedophiles.”
• October 27, 2000, “Politically Incorrect with Bill Maher” [ABC], on Christianity and Halloween: “Christianity is grafted from paganism… It’s all about a man in the sky who’s going to send you in a burning lake of fire if you screw up… Which is the perfect descrip- tion of religion itself. I mean, what is scarier than drinking the man’s blood every Sunday? That’s not a spooky ritual? ‘Here kids, drink his blood and eat his body.’ Like that’s not pagan? What can be more pagan than that?”
• May 7, 2002, “Politically Incorrect with Bill Maher” [ABC], on sex abuse settlements: “I am not defending the Church. I have hated the Church way before anyone else. I have been pounding religion for nine years on this show.”
• March 8, 2002, “Politically Incorrect with Bill Maher” [ABC], on the sex abuse problem: “Before puberty, I would say nobody caused me more pain than the Catholics.”
“I apparently was not attractive enough to be hit on [by priests].”
Jason Jones of Human Life International commented that the sex abuse problem was not prevalent in Europe or South America. Maher shot back, “You’re right. In African countries they rape the nuns.”
• May 10, 2002, “Politically Incorrect with Bill Maher” [ABC], on the sex abuse scandal in the Catholic Church: “So it is in this spirit that I offer this modest proposal that the Catholic Church just drop the pretense and just go gay. Just come out of the confessional. Preach the sermon on the mountain. Embrace it. Let the straight people be Baptists. It’s high time you gay Catholics stood up and announced to the world, ‘We’re here, we’re queer, get Eucharist.’”
• April 8, 2005, “Real Time with Bill Maher” [HBO], mocking the death of Pope John Paul II: “The Pope may be cold but this crowd is hot.”
“American Catholics say, ‘We love the pope, he should be a saint but he is kind of full of sh*t on everything we believe.’”
“For a church that is so against homosexuals they put on a pageant that you could not believe.”
• April 13, 2007, “Real Time with Bill Maher” [HBO], attacking the Eucharist: Maher showed a picture of Keith Richards and said, “New Rule, snorting your father isn’t crazy.” Then, he showed a picture of a Catholic priest giving Communion and said, “Eating your father, that’s crazy.”
• January 25, 2008, “Real Time with Bill Maher” [HBO], on the Virgin Birth: “But I think it is much more likely that there could be space ships from outer space, than what a lot of things people believe. People still believe, you know, excuse me, I know I may inject religion into every show, but UFOs are a lot more likely than a space god [that] flew down bodily and you know who was the Son of God and you know had sex with a Palestinian woman…”
• February 4, 2008, “Larry King Live” [CNN], on being an anti-Catholic bigot: “They accuse me of being a Catholic bigot. First of all, I don’t have it out especially for Catholics. I think all religions are koo-koo. OK? It’s not just the Catholics. I’m not a bigot. Just because I wish for the demise of an organization that I think is entirely destructive to the human race, that doesn’t make me a bigot. I also wish for [the] demise of Hamas and the KKK.”
• April 11, 2008, “Real Time with Bill Maher” [HBO], attacking pope as Nazi and accusing him of covering up for molesters: “And, finally, New Rule: Whenever you combine a secretive compound, religion and weirdos in pioneer outfits, there’s going to be some child f***ing going on. In fact, whenever a cult leader sets himself up as ‘God’s infallible wing man’ here on earth, lock away the kids.
“Which is why I’d like to tip off law enforcement to an even larger child-abusing religious cult. Its leader also has a compound. And this guy not only operates outside the bounds of the law, but he used to be a Nazi and he wears funny hats.
• March 11, 2011, “Real Time with Bill Maher” [HBO], on a ‘Catholics Come Home’ ad campaign: “The Catholic Church is changing. We get it. You don’t want us touching your kids. Message received. This chart shows alleged inappropriate behavior toward children since 90 AD. (Chart shows arrow going up every year) When we first started keeping records. We are going to bring those numbers down. We are not miracle workers but here is our pledge to you. You bring your kids back to church and there will be a significantly lower chance that he or she will be inappropriately touched—particularly she. And if one of our priests does touch one of your kids, you will dine absolutely free at Long John Silver’s. We’re the new Catholic Church and we know it’s time to roll up our sleeves and pull up our pants.”
• May 20, 2011, “Real Time with Bill Maher” [HBO], on the 2011 John Jay Report on Sex Abuse in the Catholic Church: Maher and his panel of guests discussed the release of the 2011 John Jay Report on Sex Abuse in the Catholic Church. Maher branded all priests as abusers and falsely claimed that the report blamed the 60s for the abuse scandal.
Maher said, “Here is what they found: Not as bad as you think; it magically solved itself one day in 1985…. And the Church isn’t the problem, celibacy isn’t the problem, repressed homosexuality isn’t the problem. You know what the problem was? The 60s… I’m not kidding, they said it was the permissive attitude of the 60s.”
• February 15, 2013, “Real Time with Bill Maher” [HBO], on the resignation of Pope Benedict XVI: “Now…as you all know, this week, Pope Benedict told Vatican Radio—you know, Vatican Radio, playing the hits from the 8th century, 9th century and today— Benedict told them he was going to resign because the Church needs a fresh, young face, somewhere other than a priest’s lap.
“It’s okay to let go. No one can fault you for losing faith in an organization that won’t even allow women as priests, because, the reasoning goes, Jesus didn’t have any female apostles. Yeah, you remember the Last Supper: a total sausage party.
“The fact is that any enterprise that excludes women almost always descends into sexual deviancy. At least at my bathhouse.”
“Show me any culture that’s traditionally hostile to women, and I will show you a culture that is screwed up. Like the Taliban. Like our military with its enormous rape problem. And like the Catholic Church.”
• March 22, 2013, “Real Time with Bill Maher” [HBO], on Pope Francis: After labeling the pope a “virgin bachelor,” Maher opined, “What other business could you be in where your company gets caught running a child sex ring since forever and you still keep your customers?”