Bill Donohue, president of the Catholic League, offered the following comments today on the popularity of Catholic-bashing plays:

“The Helen Hayes Theatre in New York must be experiencing hard times these days, otherwise it wouldn’t be home to ‘Kiki & Herb: Alive on Broadway.’  According to Variety, the play claims that the Catholic Church is run by the Nazis and that ‘the devil really does wear Prada’; the devil is the pope.  To show how timely they are, the play’s producers manage to squeeze in a smack at Mel Gibson, dropping the line ‘now he wants the Jews to treat him like they’re Christians.’  According to the Associated Press, ‘Catholics routinely come in for a thrashing, as do Republicans and anti-gay advocates.’  Guess that covers the bases.  But this isn’t enough to satisfy the depraved appetites of the audience, which is why there is a discussion about a pet cow—actually a stuffed animal—who ‘ate the afterbirth of Jesus in Bethlehem and later became a show pony for the pope.’  Now would anyone want to have dinner with someone who thought this was funny?

“Another stellar play, ‘Mitzi’s Abortion,’ completes its run on August 20 at Seattle’s ACT Theatre.  Mitzi is unsure whether she wants to abort her baby and seeks advice from none other than St. Thomas Aquinas.  Guess what he has to say?  According to a Seattle newspaper, the Stranger, Aquinas says, ‘This inane position that the Church has taken lately which gives an embryo moral standing as a human person from the moment of conception!  It’s ludicrous.  But these puppies are eating it up like kibble!’  No one, of course, eats this stuff up more than those who consider this to be entertainment.

“Bigots in Chicago are running to the Oracle to see—one more time—‘Sister Mary Ignatius Explains It All For You.’  This perennial features a vicious nun who rails against her dysfunctional students, derides the teachings of the Catholic Church, attacks Jesus and disparages the Virgin Mary.  It has an almost cult following among the morally destitute.

“My guess is that those who spend money to see this fare are mostly angry old ex-Catholics stuck in a time warp.  They’ll never move on.”

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